If You Give an Author an Award

This week’s English assignment was to watch videos of writers who had received awards.  I’m sure appearances at various functions are touted as beneficial to a writer’s platform, and of course when one has received an award, one must graciously accept.  This experience has led me to a conclusion.  I wish never to win an award.  Yes, you heard correctly (although I don’t think it was ever in question…but just in case I finally get my writing to the level I desire).

Why not?

Well a few reasons.  I’m relatively comfortable on a stage (yay for small high school productions) when I’m playing someone other than me.   Suffice it to say that I attempted in nearly every way possible to avoid speech class.  I believed it to be an  artificial and completely irrelevant class (I had already had numerous speech classes in middle & high school and theatre class as well).  I was not able to avoid this and so, digging my heels into the proverbial dirt, I was forced to endure the humiliation of speech class.  Let me elaborate further.  One-Act Melodrama in high school: no sweat, had fun.  Speech class: uncontrollable blushing, apparently over the years developed a tendency to shake (I later found out this was most likely due to a severe hyperactive thyroid…so I’m going to blame it on that).  Now, I happen to think that it’s beneficial most of the time to venture out of one’s comfort zone.  It allows us to grow in unimaginable ways.  So, I thought to myself while watching these videos…”well…I could stand and talk.”  I would make absolutely no guarantee of quality though.  Then I thought, if I did a small intimate coffee shop meeting, that would be better.  More preferable: a webinar acceptance of an award! ~sigh~ This won’t happen for a while, I’m sure, if at all.  Then another thought occurred to me.

I am, what I call, an inappropriate laugher.

I have friends like that too, thank goodness.  I take them to the movies with me so we can laugh together at all the wrong times.  That way at least I am not the only laughing at strange parts in a film.  This is a dilemma though.  I would most likely get up on stage and burst into laughter in the middle of reading a serious passage in my book.  I don’t think I could ever attain the level of austerity I have witnessed during readings by other authors, nor the casual witticisms of others.  I’d much rather take an overly casual approach at such an event.  This flies in the face of convention, which leads me to yet another hurdle.

What?  Another?!

Yes of course!  There are certain expectations in mannerisms, dress and speeches.  Being the somewhat stubborn, ornery  and generally contradictory person upon occasion, I would feel the need to enliven the event.  I imagine I would feel the need to show up bedecked in an L.L. Bean inspired outfit, hip hop or goth.  I’m sure others would look at me askance but still be extremely polite.  I would hope that some other lady at least, might sigh in envy, wishing she had dressed similarly rather than in stiletto heels.   It would take a bit of practice for me to safely navigate stairs wearing stilettos.  Perhaps I would decide to show up in a bright red or orange gown, rather than the oft-seen “little black dress”.  This is actually beginning to sound fun.  I may have to change my tune about awards.

The only conclusion I could come to at the time, was to avoid all these mind-boggling decisions by eschewing an award.  So, that is the solution I chose.  The mischief-maker side of me is currently rethinking that position, if for no other purpose than to make everyone wonder why they’ve been doing those events, in the same way  f…o…r…e…v…e…r.  I mean, really, could we not follow in the footsteps of W.O.W. or Harry Potter film releases instead?  Much more exciting.  Many of the authors were distracted or interrupted by people talking, phones ringing or any number of other sounds.  Treat it like a party instead.   After all, isn’t that what it should be if you just got an award?  Less on the speech, more on the mingle and celebration.  Sounds good to me!  I’m sure I still won’t need to worry about this ever, but it garners some thought.  There are some fabulous writers out there, and many of my “follower” are authors as well (or aspiring authors) and may end up receiving awards.  So some of you may find this exact situation a reality.

Who’s with me on this? Party-esque style for awards ceremonies? What say you?

Ah! I almost forgot! I’m finally on twitter now.  You can follow me @CamikaHayes if you want.  I will probably try to post random links or quotes on there.

Scrawl Something

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