There are so many things that I want to accomplish in my life; some of them formless and nameless but a passion still exists. It’s a feeling that lurks at the edge of my mind, like grasping for something solid and coming away with a handful of sand that slips through your fingers. You feel the essence of the granules, you know there is something solid there, but it slips away before you define it. All the dreams sometimes fill me up at once and trying to contain them seems impossible. I can no sooner articulate all those dreams and separate them into something meaningful than I could pick one particular daisy out of a field of daisies.
Not that I would pick a daisy anyway, they don’t smell very good.
How frustrating it is for me sometimes, not being able to quantify the substance of my dreams and ambitions. It’s like being blindfolded and then told to find the finish line. Sure no problem. Let me just scramble in a zillion different directions hoping to find the finish line without being able to see it. I haven’t found a solution to this dilemma. I merely have to trust that as the time is right, certain goals will separate themselves from the swirling mass of passions in my mind so that I can identify it and pursue it. I probably need to make a list. I run off lists and Dunkin Donuts coffee. Well any coffee really, but I like Raspberry coffees, Dunkin Donuts Strawberry Shortcake coffee, and a recent addition to my addiction list thanks to a friend is the Dunkin Donuts Gingerbread Cookie coffee. For some reason mixing it with Hazelnut creamer is like some kind of drinkable dessert. Okay, I’m really off-topic here. Not that you mind, right?
Do you guys ever feel this way…this need to just suddenly throw everything you are, and everything you have towards some (or many) unidentifiable goals? What do you do? How do you manage that? Sometimes not being able to channel that passion in a beneficial, creative way ends up putting me in a completely non-productive funk. If you have any ideas, lemme know. In the meantime I guess I will get started on my list.
Oh…update. I ran a contest for a free proofread/edit of a manuscript. There was one applicant, so they would have won by default, but because my emails and Twitter direct messages were being ridiculous at the time, the message disappeared into a void. So I may run another contest later for free editing, but at the moment my Literary Theory class, Advanced Fiction Writing class, and freelancing are keeping me hopping. I like the challenge though.
Anyways, I hope you all have a spectacular weekend. Think about your passion for life and feel free to share your awesome ways to deal with overwhelming ambitions and dreams. See ya later!