I know that I said I probably won’t be able to post very often, which is true. I have good days and I have bad days. At this point the most I try to worry about is the timing of all my medications. Despite my sickness, I don’t really feel that bad which sometimes makes it difficult for me to remember to take it easy. Lately I’ve been able to take time and reflect on life. I am a very blessed person, and while my pocketbook reminds me that I’m usually broke, my heart is full. I have friends and family around me, people who support me all across the nation, even if it is simply sending me mental well-wishes. Just because it may not be tangible, does not mean that it isn’t recognized and appreciated. I have beautiful memories, and every day chances to make new ones. It’s difficult to do that when you’re sick and exhausted, so I’m afraid I haven’t been making awesome memories with the people I love. All I can do is try to make a few moments here and there, which hopefully will extend into longer memories as I get better.
Thanksgiving is the obvious time of year to sit around and figure out what you should be thankful for. In reality, I have so much to be thankful for that I let things slip by without recognition. Right now I’m thankful beyond belief that no one close to me has been plagued with the same sickness I have. I’m thankful for the blessings of a roof over my head, a vehicle that still works, a mind that still finds beauty in the world, frustrations that drive me to become a better person, and difficult times that remind me of true priorities. It isn’t always easy to try and think of these types of things in a positive light; to try and see the benefits or silver lining that might lurk behind the ominous visage. I could focus on all the trials, negative situations, and coincidences that occur. Sometimes, I want to think of all those things and wallow in them. I want to ask, “why me”? That is completely pointless though. I will not feel better if I have an answer, and somewhere else there is a person with a much worse situation wondering the same thing. Someone else’s suffering doesn’t negate my own difficult journey, but it does put it in perspective. There are many, many situations in my life that I did not choose but I can decide how I will allow them to shape me as a person. I think Thanksgiving is a blessing because it serves to remind us that we have a choice about our outlook, and how we view our lives. I’m not rich, many would not think me successful, and nothing will probably change with that scenario right away. I feel like one of the luckiest people in the world though, because I have taken a giant leap into the unknown, I have a heart full of love, hope, dreams, faith, and a greater appreciation of what matters in life.
So I’m going to remember that somewhere a child is lying sick in a hospital, an elderly person is alone in a nursing home, ahomeless person tries to keep warm, an unemployed person worries about finding a job, someone wonders how they will get their next meal, and someone else worries about their utilities being shut off. Difficult choices are made all over the world, and some necessities are lacking regardless: medicine, food, clean water, heat, shelter, education, employment, and hope. While I am aware of problems across the globe, it is still so easy for me to take these things for granted. I cannot necessarily relate to the problems, but I know that I want to help make lives easier. I want to make a difference. This year, I’m thankful for the resources that I normally take for granted every day and I hope to be able to turn those resources into a means of help for the many, many people in need. I always think that I can’t do much, but I decided to change my perspective and ask myself “what CAN I do?” I found clothes that I didn’t need or that didn’t fit, extra bedding and towels, dishes, and blankets I crocheted. None of it took money immediately out of my account, but I found places desperately in need of those items. It isn’t much, just a drop in the bucket of needs, but it’s a beginning. If everyone did the same, what a huge amount of need could be eliminated in such a fashion. There are tons of ways to help brighten a person’s day, and maybe their life. I’m excited to find out how I can challenge myself to make a difference, because it really can start with just one person. I’m happy to entertain suggestions for anyone stopping for a read, you never know when or how inspiration will strike so feel free to send along your ideas! Thanks and blessings to each and every one of you!